this is my weekend

this is what i did on my weekend

TITLE: rainey  shopping day

Planning

1.rain

2.shopping

3.bugs

Writing

The rain banged loud on the roof hail stones fall to the ground my Aunty said come on we're going shopping at kerikeri. We left the hail stones were bangging loud on top of  the car I was so scared finally we were there .

We went inside to go  to buy some things me and my cousin got a Easter bunny each .Me and my cousin were playing hide and go seek i went to go look for my cousin  he was hiding in the big box with pillows in them.

We walked over to where the car was parked all of the saderen there were heaps of them because they must be attracted to bright colors  and my Aunty's car was a bright orange car it was so funny.

Marking

Ideas	Points	Comment
	3	I agree with miss
Miss Baker	3	Some simple ideas and some detail. Make sure you include more detail about what happened, so what did you buy and what did the hail look like?