Holidays
1.icecream
2.Lily pond
3.paihia
We went to get some ice cream at mcdonalds I was so happy we were going to the lily pond next we hopped in the car with our ice creams and shakes and headed of to the lily pond it was a bumpy ride there
We arrived at the Lily pond I was the first one to hope in the ice cold water
My face turned pale like a ghost i was in shock i hopped out and
Went to change after we changed i hoped in the car and left to
Paihia
When we got to paihia my uncle started to cook some smoke fish and cooked some chicken after that i went for a ride on the jet ski we also played rugby hide and go seek go home stay home and more it was so fun and exciting day i was so tired i just wanted to fall asleep.
Hi Darvaye. Chelsea here, from Ohaeawai School. It sounds like you had a fun holiday. You have got a couple mistakes and not many full stops and commas in your writing. Maybe you could go back and fix that up. Chelsea.
ReplyDeletehi chelsea its darvaye thank you feedback and feedford i will go back and fix those mistakes
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